Me, Myself and Us

- So, let me get this straight. I have to take this bracelet, go back, give the bracelet and give the speech?

- Basically yeah. I did the exact same thing.

- No thanks. I’m good. Have a good day!

- Wait, what? What do you mean no?

- I mean I refuse do such a thing. I don’t see the point of doing this.

- The stability of the space-time continuum? I figured it was common sense even to me. That’s why I did it.

- That fabric isn’t that sensitive. We’ve been around each other for about 10 minutes now. Do you see any rips around us? Any glitches?

- No…

- Thought so. Here, take 5 bucks and get yourself a burger and something to drink.

- But if you don’t go back, I’ll die.

- Calm down. You’re gonna be just fine. If you want, I can give you my rewards card for a free ice cream as long you promise to give it back.

- I don’t think you understand. I’m gonna disappear from existence.

- Oh really? What makes you believe that?

- If you don’t go to the past to give yourself this time travel bracelet then the future you that gives you the bracelet won’t exist. And I’m the future you. If you don’t go back, I won’t exist because you wouldn’t have given me bracelet in the first place.

- Shouldn’t you have vanished the moment I said no?

- What?

- Let’s go about it this way. When the future you, us gave you, us the bracelet, that did you, we do?

- I, you, us, we

- Don’t get confused in the pronouns there, buddy. Take it slow.

- I said yes. I took the bracelet from the future me and went back in time like he did.

- Good, good. That would mean he did the same, right?

- Makes sense.

- And what happened when we met?

- You said no.

- And that would mean?

- You’re not me?

- Good logic for now. But I am you. Or at least to the best extent to that definition of one’s self.

- But you’re me, that means that if you don’t go back, I won’t exist anymore. Please go back to the past and give this bracelet to yourself.

- It’s pretty clear that I’ve lost you. I am you, but not the past you. If I were the past you, you would have vanished the moment I said no. Time would have corrected the issue immediately.

- So, you’re me, but not the past me. Then what me are you? Future me?

- I don’t remember you, so I’m just a different you.

- Then I need to find my past me before I disappear.

- Here we go again. Calm down before you have a panic attack. As long as you’re still here, it means that you get the chance to give the bracelet to your past self.

- Why are you so sure?

- Asked the guy stuck in a bootstrap paradox.

- Bootstrap paradox?

- Let’s put it this way. Where did you get the bracelet?

- From future me.

- And future you? Where did he get it from?

- From future him…

- And if we go down that line of thinking, we end up in the exact same place. So where did you get it from?

- I don’t know.

- Good. Did you already have it?

- No.

- But it did have to come from somewhere, right?

- Hmm… I guess you’re right.

- Where do you think it came from?

- From the far future where time travel was invented. Will be invented? Was, will?

- If it was from the future, then the loop would have been a little bit different. You said you didn’t already have it, so it rules that theory out.

- Then it came from somewhere else. This is not a time travel bracelet! It’s a parallel universe jump bracelet! Cool, like in that show.

- You’re much brighter than I gave you credit for. It came from somewhere else, but I can assure you that’s a time travel bracelet.

- How would you know?

- Because you have it from me.

- You? But what about the whole deal with the paradox?

- That only applies to you. It doesn’t apply to me. As I said, I’m different you.

- You lost me. Please explain.

- I made a time travel bracelet, hopped to your universe, gave you the speech and the bracelet and that’s it.

- Why would such a thing?

- Testing purposes. A very inoffensive test.

- So, you decided to make me a lab rat and do an experiment on me?

- In my defense, I only trust myself. That’s why I picked you.

- Fair enough. I think?

- I promise I’ll make this up to you and I’ll give you a reward for your assistance.

- If you knew what happened, why did you try to ignore me?

- You know how we are when we haven’t had out coffee yet.

- Thanks for not throwing something at me then.

- We should probably change that about ourselves. May I take a look at the bracelet? I want to check some of the data.

- Sure, go ahead. You already said that I’m not gonna die, so I can relax now. Quick question, what kind of a power source does it have? There’s no risk of radiation poisoning or stuff like that, right?

- You’re gonna die, but probably of old age like the rest of us or some of us. There’s not risk of radiation. It’s powered by a magnetar in a very small pocket universe.

- Cool, cool, cool.

- It’s like a battery that’s bigger on the inside, with a start that is also a very powerful magnet.

- Oh! I get it now. Thanks!

- No problem. Hmmm, that’s strange. Maybe quite impossible. Let me check again.

- What happened? Everything okay?

- Honestly, my friend? I’m not sure. Technically, for a time travel bracelet a magnetar should be the best option for a power source. It would theoretically last at least hundreds of thousands of years.

- So, the battery ran out?

- Yeah, I gave it to you a couple of weeks ago from my perspective and it’s out of juice now. But that’s not even the half of it. When I hopped to your universe, I used a different device. This bracelet was made only for going through time. It can’t do a universe jump.

- Then how did it happen?

- I’m not sure yet. Let me get a scan of you.

- I’m freaking out a little bit here.

- Oh my. You’re surrounded by high levels of tachyons. Breath! Best I can tell for now if that you were overexposed to the time stream.

- I thought you said I wouldn’t die.

- You’re still not showing signs of dying. The scan shows that you’re stable and I have a feeling that growing old isn’t in your cards anymore.

- I’m immortal now?

- Practically yes. You might have some other abilities, but I can’t be sure until I get you into the lab.

- You have a lab?

- It’s technically my studio apartment, but I have a lot of space inside.

- Like the battery?

- Same tech, different sizes.

- Cool, cool. Does this make me a superhero now? Can we use your place as a lair?

- Firstly, you’re not a superhero. You just have some powers that we don’t know about yet. Secondly, the lair has to be a secret place far away from your home. We’re currently in the process of establishing your origin story. The lair can wait.

- Makes sense. Thank you! I wouldn’t know what to do without you.

- You’re in this situation because of me. It’s the least I can do.

- If you put it that way, can we get tacos?

- After I get my coffee.

- Breakfast burritos?

- Breakfast burritos it is.

- We’re gonna be such good friends.

- I have a similar feeling too.