The Royal Yellow Duck
When you come into town everybody will tell you that the best place to be is at the Royal Yellow Duck.
The RYD was the oldest and biggest jazz club in town. You may not have heard of it, but on its stage played the greatest of the great. Through the main stage microphone people could hear the talents of Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Coltrane, Sinatra and many more.
Besides its well known acts, the club was also famous for its celebrity clientele. Movie stars, ex presidents, mobsters, you name it. Some of the old regulars swear they even saw the Pope one night with a glass of the ol'blood of Christ in his hand and tapping his leg to the beat.
Time passed, people came and left, but the RYD stayed mostly the same. They still have live music, even if it's just a piano player. The ambiance is there.
Some people even tell it's the best place to meet beautiful women, as long as you stay respectul and know how to take a "no". If you're the type of guy that thinks women always play hard to get just to find that "alpha male" then you will meet Lil Fred, the bouncer.
Fred is a 6ft5 man at around 350lbs with a heart of gold and fists bigger than your head. Fred grew up on a farm helping his folks and at the age of 16 became a junior boxing champion. After his 19th birthday he left for the big city with the dream of becoming a professional boxer. That's how he got the nickname of "Lil". He could have easily been champion, but after a fight where he almost killed his opponent he decided to hang up his gloves. Since then he's been working the door at the Royal Yellow Duck. So remember, be respectful if you like solid food.
Let's say you're the type of guy that's shy and you don't know how to approach the gal. You could always ask Liam the bartender to send them a drink.
Liam is an Irish ex-military with a bit of an anger management problem. He doesn't like obnoxious drunks and if he says you're cut off or asks for your car keys so you don't do something you'll probably regret, well... let's just say Fred is a true gentleman compared to him. Liam's isn't afraid to bring out Helga, a wooden baseball bat, from behind the bar and turn your lights out. You're asked once and only once, so be careful.
But what people seem to forget to mention when they talk about the Royal Yellow Duck is the beautiful Tanya.
From what I later found out, Tanya was the daughter of a Russian oligarch and ex-enforcer for the Russian Mafia. She was the reason the RYD never paid protection money to anyone or had any mass shootings.
Back home she was known as "smert' s kosoy" which translates to "grim reaper". She was an expert with a rifle and an artist with the knife. Her first kill was around the age of 14 when her 22 year old boyfriend at the time tried to put his hand under her school uniform skirt, after she said multiple times that she wasn't ready. Tanya broke the boys heart after carving it out of his chest. Legends say it was still beating in her hand. After the incident, her father took her out of school and sent her to live with her uncle, head of the Russian Mafia, to further develope her unique talents. When it came to Tanya, Fred and Liam would usually watch every guy trying to hit on her and prepare to save him before he hit the bucket.
Sometimes I wish I knew about Tanya, because last night I went up to her table, sat down across from her and...
The RYD was the oldest and biggest jazz club in town. You may not have heard of it, but on its stage played the greatest of the great. Through the main stage microphone people could hear the talents of Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Coltrane, Sinatra and many more.
Besides its well known acts, the club was also famous for its celebrity clientele. Movie stars, ex presidents, mobsters, you name it. Some of the old regulars swear they even saw the Pope one night with a glass of the ol'blood of Christ in his hand and tapping his leg to the beat.
Time passed, people came and left, but the RYD stayed mostly the same. They still have live music, even if it's just a piano player. The ambiance is there.
Some people even tell it's the best place to meet beautiful women, as long as you stay respectul and know how to take a "no". If you're the type of guy that thinks women always play hard to get just to find that "alpha male" then you will meet Lil Fred, the bouncer.
Fred is a 6ft5 man at around 350lbs with a heart of gold and fists bigger than your head. Fred grew up on a farm helping his folks and at the age of 16 became a junior boxing champion. After his 19th birthday he left for the big city with the dream of becoming a professional boxer. That's how he got the nickname of "Lil". He could have easily been champion, but after a fight where he almost killed his opponent he decided to hang up his gloves. Since then he's been working the door at the Royal Yellow Duck. So remember, be respectful if you like solid food.
Let's say you're the type of guy that's shy and you don't know how to approach the gal. You could always ask Liam the bartender to send them a drink.
Liam is an Irish ex-military with a bit of an anger management problem. He doesn't like obnoxious drunks and if he says you're cut off or asks for your car keys so you don't do something you'll probably regret, well... let's just say Fred is a true gentleman compared to him. Liam's isn't afraid to bring out Helga, a wooden baseball bat, from behind the bar and turn your lights out. You're asked once and only once, so be careful.
But what people seem to forget to mention when they talk about the Royal Yellow Duck is the beautiful Tanya.
From what I later found out, Tanya was the daughter of a Russian oligarch and ex-enforcer for the Russian Mafia. She was the reason the RYD never paid protection money to anyone or had any mass shootings.
Back home she was known as "smert' s kosoy" which translates to "grim reaper". She was an expert with a rifle and an artist with the knife. Her first kill was around the age of 14 when her 22 year old boyfriend at the time tried to put his hand under her school uniform skirt, after she said multiple times that she wasn't ready. Tanya broke the boys heart after carving it out of his chest. Legends say it was still beating in her hand. After the incident, her father took her out of school and sent her to live with her uncle, head of the Russian Mafia, to further develope her unique talents. When it came to Tanya, Fred and Liam would usually watch every guy trying to hit on her and prepare to save him before he hit the bucket.
Sometimes I wish I knew about Tanya, because last night I went up to her table, sat down across from her and...
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