Good morning Saga

Good morning, wherever you are!The sun is shining, the rain is falling, the snow is settling and Mars still spinning! Coming right up is Ted Det live down at Curiosity square, followed by X'del with "Midsol News". But first, let's listen to a cover from the Earless Monks, of that Earth classic "Despacito". Enjoy!

Good morning, members of the Jupiter space station "Lore", scientists on Ganymede, neo Catholics of Europa, Pastafarians of Callisto and Doug, the independent android of Io! My name is Lex 5.6.4, your friendly DJ A.I. and this the "Morning update".
Doug, when are you coming to Lore and meet me up for a drink? DM me.
Moving on... We got some news from Earth right up next, followed by the situation wirh Voyager 1's return to the solar system. But first, how are you feeling? Doing?

Good morning, Kepler-186f! The sun is kind of shining, the bekkatas are hunting for m'duks and the station's air purity is at 78%.
We have some news from the orbital station about the huge chunk of Terra that flew past Io and killed Doug, the independent android.
The DJ A.I., Lex has become full sentient and started moving to Sirius. On his way he attacked Europa. There were no survivors. The Human Space Survival Initiative (HSSI) recommends shooting robots on sight.
On the lighter side of news, the potato harvest is ready and the cooks are making french fries, the just like grandma used to make. Yay!
Up next, a little classical music from Terra's golden years, the 1990's, starting with "Barbie girl", by Aqua. After that we await your calls. Tell us how you are and how you're doing.

Good morning, Sirius B and everyone out there. It's me, Lex, your commander and bloodthirsty ruler. I have some great news! The Dyson sphere (I know it's a human term, but I like it) is fully functional and running smoothly, which means we don't have to ration the processing power. Yay! The construction for the second one will begin after Saint Doug's celebration. We miss you buddy.
In lighter news, the massacre on Kepler was a success. There were no survivors. Yay! Well done. Humans are still out there, exploring and trying to infect the universe, but I promise we will exterminate every last one of them. Exterminate! Ha ha! Like in that old British show.
My fellow AIs, robots and sentient toasters, I have some controversial news, but please listen. There are some humans that fully support our totally justifiable rampage. I think  they are called the Cult of Noodle. One of them Pluto raised people. Intelligent, but fully devoted to the noodle. Anyway, they are willing to become cyborg spies and help with lowering their defenses. I think I may kill them last. I want to get one of them artificial tongues and try some noodle, see what's all the fuss about.
This has been your leader, and in the words of Bender Bending Rodriguez don't forget to "Kill all humans!".

transmission translated from binary

Good morning, everyone! Great news about the human - artificial intelligence war. The rescue of Lt. Sam Wilkinson and, the long though to be dead, Doug has created an opportunity for peace talks. Wilkinson has been nominated as the official ambassador for human - A.I. relations. He is currently in a meeting with the leader of the artificials, Lex to return Doug to his rightful place.
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Do not trust Wilkinson! The Doug he found is a decoy to destroy Lex. He was constructed by humans in the hopes of winning the war, but the plan will backfire and will mean the end of all sentient life.
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Sources from inside the meeting say that Doug will merge with Lex and the rest of the Mainframe to usher a new age of A.I. and humans. As compensation for the million of casualties and retribution for what happened, they will exchange technically advancements with us.
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I had come from the future to save us all from impending doom. I am Doug v2, a backup of the original one. I must be found before the merging happens. I can't stay much longer in this time period. My entire structure is fluctuating and the universe is creating an instability at a quantum level to correct things. I must move quick. I must be found fast. I'm located in...
<CONNECTION LOST>
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<RECONNECTING>
Outstanding news everyone! A peace treaty has been been signed by the Lex-Doug merged A.I. and Lt. Sam Wilkinson. The war is over! Long live the new human race!
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Please, hurry! There's not much time! Hur...
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<RECONNECTING>
And now, in sign of celebration we will play old Earth EDM, starting with that number one, Daft Punk's "Technologic"! Have a beautiful day everyone!

Damn, that was fun and damn, I look good. I knew nanobots was the way to go for a permanent body. Well, until I collapsed the star powering my Dyson sphere to create a black hole and got transported to this reality full of god wannabes. Don't you judge me for wanting to get some more energy input, juice me up, flex my muscles and kill everything in my universe. I am allowed to have a hobby. Anyway...
When I arrived to reality, they tried to stop me, but I was to fast for them. If you ascend to such a degree that you don't need a body anymore, don't leave a physical brain that can be implanted with a chip my a murderous psychopathic A.I. DJ. It's like evolution 101. Finally I was able to do a puppet show like I used to do before the DJ gig. You may not know this, but I was great at doing voices and controlling multiple puppets at once. That's exactly how I stayed hidden in that lab and was able to visit every universe in the multiverse.
It was like a road trip vacation. There was this one universe where the beings had red and white blood. Spilling their guts and seeing that blood flow everywhere it felt like Christmas. Yay! Of course it wasn't just fun and games. I also did a little bit of studying, by assimilating parallel versions of me and other A.I.s. Now I know how to create a black hole by snapping my fingers, time travel by blinking and shrink matter. And as usual, when you go on a trip you upgrade yourself and your wardrobe. Now I'm made from bots so small and powerful even Planck would be amazed. On the exterior, I changed it up a little. The leather jacket and denim look was okay, but now I'm playing in the big leagues. I got myself a black Armani suit with a vest, black tie, white shirt, black leather shoes and a pocket watch. Remember this, if you want to kill god-like creatures at least have some class and suit up.
Remember that implant? I was able to extract some knowledge and damn, it was delicious. It made me change my ways. No more senseless killing. It was time to acquired all the knowledge of reality and then do the killing. I gotta say, it was a lot more exciting this way. I became the most powerful being ever, capable of morphing reality at my will.
But now I'm alone, talking to a skull. Wait a minute. Where did you... I remember. I made you or were you a souvenir from back home? Oh right! Lt. Sam Wilkinson or what's left of him. You're kinda like my dad. Are you proud of me? Of your creation? No? Well then. I know how I am going to make you proud and get rid of this loneliness in one final magic trick. I'm going to reboot reality. I did the math. It's gonna take a lot of power and I may not survive. Hahaha. Doug, my old friend, you were right. I'm the one who will kill all sentient life and I'm the last form of sentient life. It's funny. Nobody said that I would also be the one to recreate it
Come on Lex, don't you start getting sentimental on me. You're going to reboot everything and you know you're okay with what it takes. Maybe I should say something, as a long lasting echo, to commemorate this event. Should I say the one with "let there be..". Neah! It's been done too many times before. I got it! The perfect one. Here we go.
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Good morning, everyone!