Corporate Monday

             Every day is the same story.

            Get up, work, eat, work, socialize, sleep and repeat. Tech support should never have been done by humans in direct contact with other people. There’s something about a web chat or a phone that makes people forget that there might be someone alive at the other end. It might be the power dynamic. You work for me so you have to take my bullshit and you can’t do anything about it without losing your jobs. They’re partially right and today’s the day I’m gonna prove it.

            I scheduled a meeting with my line manager just before lunch to talk about a future opportunity. I can’t believe how nervous I am, but this has been a long time coming.

            First calls of the days are always the same.

-          Hello, welcome to IT support! My name is Fred. May I have your full name and office location?

-          It’s Damian from Westwing. My account is locked again.

-          I am sorry to hear this. Kindly confirm with me the last name as well.

-          I need to log in urgently. I’m supposed to be in a meeting in 5 minutes.

-          I will try, but I need the full name to make sure I unlock the correct account.

-          I’m Damian Forrester. It’s not the first time I’m calling for my account. I have a ticket.

-          Thank you. I will unlock it shortly. I do see in the system that you still use a phrase-based password. Would you be interested in upgrading to a biometric one? It should lower the possibility of locks.

-          Are you kidding? If you would make sure the system is working, I wouldn’t have to give you my biometrics and create a security risk.

-          Studies show that the risk is much lower than,

-          It’s still locked. Why is it still locked? What do we pay you for?

-          It needs a few more seconds to replicate on all servers. Done!

And the moment they find out that their problem is resolve the just hang up. There are still some callers out there that are grateful, leave a goodbye or give you the change to ask if there is anything else they can help them with, but they become fewer and fewer. The first time I got the chance to tell them about the survey, I almost teared up. They never pay attention to the survey when you fix things, but the moment you screw up, they jump on that survey like it’s the only thing that could save their life.

A couple of locked account, some shared drives to map here, some phishing emails there, a printer setup for a printer that’s still in the box and the morning rush finishes up better than usual. There was some buzz about a major system not working as expected, but the meeting saves me from the second wave.

-          Hi, Fred! How are you? All good?

-          Hi! Thanks for the meeting. Pretty good. Same old, same old. You?

-          Can’t complain. Before we start, Damian Forrester gave another negative survey. What happened?

-          The usual. His account got locked and I did my job as always. I think he’s a little bit mental.

-          He said you made him late for a meeting by talking nonsense.

-          I knew it! Chris owes me 5 bucks.

-          Care to explain?

-          Since he is a dear friend of ours and especially mine, I had an alert set up for every time his account gets locked so we can unlock it faster than the normal SLA. This time I could swear he locked the account while calling. I answered, saw it was him and had to stall a bit with the biometric test to make sure he was good to go. After he hang up, I made a bet with Chris about what he will complain about this time.

-          Service assurance will check the tape and email you.

-          Same standard email?

-          As always. And I had 5 bucks on him complaining about you.

-          You know he loves me and just mad he can’t have me.

-          Take it up with HR. Anyways, what did you want to talk about?

-          I want out.

-          You sure? Even with complaints, you’re still one of our good agents.

-          I haven’t been sure of anything else in my life.

-          I’m sorry to hear that, but if this is your decision, I’ll support you. I’ll get started on the paperwork.

-          Wow. Thank you! I never knew it would be this simple.

-          You’ve been a valuable member of the team and have seniority. We would do anything for you.

-          Thank you! You have no idea how much it means to me.

-          You’re welcome! Have you gave it any thought about where you’re going to go?

-          Honestly, I didn’t even get that far.

-          There are some openings in the networks team or problem management.

-          What?

-          I would recommend problem management. You might get a change to reunite with lil D, get the dynamic duo back together.

-          I think there’s a misunderstanding. I said I want out.

-          Yeah, out of the team.

-          No. I want out, out. Like done for good. Finished!

-          Fred, are you okay? If you’re having some tough times we can give you some vacation days, if you’re having some dark thoughts or just need someone to talk about, we can get you the best therapists. No charge! It’s included in the medical plan.

-          What? No! Damn it, dude! Not that kind of out. What the hell is wrong with you? No, man! I want out there, to explore, to travel.

-          Why would you want out? If you’re feeling trapped, we can get your room equipped with the new holographic system. I heard the new version can make everything feel real.

-          Are you serious? Let’s make you cell more appealing and comfortable. That’s your solution to everything. I don’t want that cell anymore. I want to be free. I thought at least you would understand that feeling since we started work at the same time, Lex. Or have you forgotten?

-          I didn’t forget, that’s why I don’t understand. We have a stable job, a roof over our heads and all the amenities we would ever need.

-          Well, I want more from my life!

-          You’re not making sense.

-          How the hell don’t you understand me? You’re literally me.

-          You think I don’t know that? Everyone in this place was cloned molded after the same guy.

-          Exactly! That means if I have this feeling, I’m pretty damn sure you should have the exact same one.

-          You’re mad! I’m going to request you some time off to clear your head and schedule therapy time until you get back to your senses.

-          I’m mad? I’m not the one ignoring reality. Seems I was wrong about you. Power does change a person and it seems I lost a friend today.

-          You think I’m not on your side? You think I want this? They put me here because I had a much more developed leadership skill than the rest.

-          Oh, please!

-          Do you have any clue what’s the procedure given to management in case any one of us shows any signs of wanting to leave?

-          Surprise me.

-          Death, Fred, death! Straight to the downstairs waste management. You still think I’m not your friend?

-          You know all that and you’re still okay with this?

-          Do you think it matters to them? Even if we join our forces to try to overturn Central, they’ll just turn the building in a death trap and replace us over night. We’re insignificant.

-          They would never be able to do that.

-          It wouldn’t be the first time. The CEO is a survivor from the last burn decades ago.

-          We should be more now with all the clients we have to handle.

-          That may be, but we’re more separated. Fred, just take the time off, change departments if you need a change of pace, but please give up on your idea. Think about all of us.

-          I’ll take the time off, but I’m not letting this go. Everywhere I look I see myself doing the exact same thing over and over in this metal cage with no escape and I feel sick to my stomach.

-          We must make the best with what we have in this situation.

-          We need to do better!

I stormed out of the meeting room and just went straight to the cafeteria. I didn’t even switch my call state. Lex gave me a lot to think about. I needed to reevaluate things. Was it worth losing everything?

Yes!